


No Name Face

by BlueJay_Silvertongue



Series: Chronicles of WonderPosion [8]
Category: Wonder Woman (2017)
Genre: 13 Days of Halloween, Angst, F/F, Letters, WonderPoison - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-04 07:41:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16342625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueJay_Silvertongue/pseuds/BlueJay_Silvertongue
Summary: A collection of letters and journal entries penned by Dr. Isabel Maru.





	1. Hanging By A Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Description of Veld victims

 

* * *

Shortly after 9 P.M. on November 11th, 1918, Dr. Isabel Maru’s last, hastily established lab in Belgium was infiltrated and destroyed. Plagued by a deadly lab explosion just weeks earlier, this attack not only wrecked the chemist’s lifework- including an foiled attempt on the plane carrying bombs of poisonous gas to London- but ultimately brought down Germany’s last remaining hope of victory and officially ended the war.

Dr. Maru fled from the scene, and successfully evaded capture for weeks.

* * *

 

_**November 12th, 1918** _

_**Germany/Belgium border** _

_The lab is destroyed, the third of its kind in less than a month._

_The plane exploded above the airfield. There is no telling if it was the work of an enemy, or the curse of the Germans._

_The Great Buffoon is dead, flung against the fence, bleeding out from a stab wound._

_She..._

_The very foundation of the earth trembles before such a creature._

_Veld: Full-body scarring on those outdoors, features entirely unrecognizable, minimal blood loss (skin blistering rather than melting), burns still forming 5+ hours later. Indoor deaths mostly due to oxygen loss, minimal scarring, bodies in positions of distress. Gas masks were still in storage, they were incapacitated within seconds. The canned food is still good._

_**Provisions:** Bag of biscuits (15), tauben in weinlaub gebraten (still wrapped), two full canteens, morphine, various cans (will have to find can opener). Bandages. Leg iced. Gas will wear off before sunrise. 17 capsules left._

 

_She is:_

_• Tall, taller than the most obtuse of giants in the German army._

_• Armored_

_• Immune to fire_

_• Inhumanly strong._

 

_She cannot be real._

_The car flipped over its nose, as if it had hit some invisible snag, tumbled over itself, and in another second I was facedown on the pavement._

_I know nothing._

_Nothing._

_The fire, the smoke, the impact..._

_She cannot be._

_We were attacked. The British and their forked tongues, preaching peace and ordering destruction in the same breath. They have created some hallucinatory gas, some fable to drive us mad, as if war is not enough._

_She is a creature of chaos, this hallucination._

_All skin and metal and fury._

_I wish I knew from what dusty crag within my mind she formed. A far more welcome distraction than gunshots and blood and cursed memories of-_

_She is impossible, an impossible dream. A beautiful, mighty dream._

 

_I must reach the mountains by nightfall._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and happy 13 Days of Halloween!! I plan to write 13 letters of varying lengths, following Isabel’s Hatred!verse redemption arc. 
> 
> Also, look at this fool stealing cans of food and completely forgetting that in order to eat cans of food, you must have a can opener; AND stealing fried squab from the gala, because she may not drink, but fresh meat is rare in wartime, and fried squab does have such a strong, but agreeable flavor that makes all those pesky bones worth the trouble.
> 
> Next up: Isabel discovers that her “hallucination” was not actually a hallucination. 
> 
> (P.S. Fic name and chapter titles are from Lifehouse’s No Name Face album.)


	2. Sick Cycle Carousel

 

* * *

 In the days immediately following the war’s end, Dr. Maru sought refuge from the wilderness and winter in remote villages and farms, never staying in a single location for more than two nights in a row. Other entries in her journal hint at some idea of hiding out until it became more clear what her sentence would be. But within a few days, word of the war’s end reached Isabel’s whereabouts, and she realized that her main threat may not be the war crimes trials after all.

* * *

  

_**November 16th, 1918** _

_**Rural Belgium** _

_A letter arrived at the village today._

_The war is over._

_Germany is ruined._

 

_There is also news of a warrior. A woman._

 

_..._

 

_It is foolish to linger._

 

_…_

 

_If I had not seen her for myself, I would have dismissed the stories as a fool’s tales, a starved soldier’s fantasy._

_I am on the run for my life._

_I must leave this village at first light. If the news can so quickly reach these parts, it can just as quickly spread._

_They say she is a goddess, untouchable, undefeatable. Protector of the defenseless. She was spotted carrying bodies to makeshift infirmaries, sifting through rubble, assisting the rescuers._

_If I had not seen her myself, I would have believed—at best—that the Allies had succeeded in creating their own strength-formula._

_But I have seen her with my own eyes, and no woman from our world walks as she, brash and unapologetic, arrogant and heedless of the rules that bind women to their cursed place in society. Even the costumed bohemians in the cities have nothing on such a creature, for even they cannot separate themselves from convention, so set they are on defying it in every way._

_But she… she knows nothing of our chains._

_She acts without a single thought, without rebellion even in her mind; to her, it is not defiance, it is simply existence—ordinary, unremarkable, to be the pinnacle of Woman in every way._

_I labored without end to fashion the most perfect of weapons of destruction, and she not only seizes from me my victory, but outdoes me at every turn._

 

_..._

 

_I cannot sleep._

_You are haunting me. Your face, twisted in rage, barely visible through the smoke, the pain, the panic._

_And then, your eyes, widening with… what? Pity? Fear? Understanding?_

 

_..._

 

_I have only one question: Who ARE you? You—you creature of the night, you haunter of my dreams, you giver of my life—who are you? Show your face, you coward—do I not even deserve that? Or will you loom over me for all eternity, your teeth bared in rage, the monster you are. Do you enjoy tormenting me? Do you enjoy this—this spell that you have cast over my unwilling mind? Because I see you: I see nothing but you, and you are laughing at me, and you are coming for me. And I... I can do nothing but stand in your shadow of your mercy, as you threaten to crush me with the very weapons I created to crush the world. You have come for me, to deliver me to my fate—and I beg you—I beg you to understand. I beg you—I, who has dealt the hand of death countless times—please, understand what this is you are about to do. I created this world. The world where you stand, the tank that you hold, the plane whose explosion sent you into this frenzy, and I understand your rage. And somehow, I almost love you for it._

 

_We are not so very different, you and I._

 

_Damn it all._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and happy 2nd day of Halloween! It appears Isabel-on-the-run is still a bit scatterbrained...
> 
> Next up, Isabel-in-prison!


	3. Unknown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Implied torture

 

* * *

 Dr. Maru successfully avoided capture for weeks, taking advantage of the wintery conditions and lack of travelers/trade on the roads. However, her constant relocating was finally noticed and she was captured near the France/Belgium border in January 1919, and quickly transported to a secret prison in Germany. She would remain there for nearly a year—until the compound was violently attacked, and she mysteriously disappeared.

* * *

 

_**1919** _

_**7th Circle of Hell** _

_These fools know nothing of pain._

_I know pain._

 

_I am pain._

 

_…_

 

_If I told them what they wanted, they would never understand._

_I could recite the periodic table, and they would scramble to report it to their superiors._

_These useless fools, blustering their way through life with their waving fists and shrill voices, like babes freshly out of the womb._

_I have cut open more men than their lazy eyes will ever see in their short lifetimes. For each of their blows, I have struck down ten, twenty, fifty, a thousand times as many._

_Dead, every one._

_These fools know nothing._

 

_…_

 

_They think they can break me._

_All brute force, no creativity._

_How tiresome it must be, to be simple-minded._

_I would’ve broken me weeks ago._

 

_..._

 

_She pities me._

_The tank looms overhead as she bends down, graceful like the reeds along the marsh, and she lifts me up into her arms, carrying me like a child, not a soldier._

_The bath is warm. The bedcovers are soft. Her lips..._

_Are bared_

_Her face is stripped to the bone_

_A naked skull_

_She falls away_

_In an instant_

_I am alone_

 

_I am poison._

 

_…_

 

_Johanna is weeping._

 

_She should know better._

 

_How are the mighty fallen in the midst of the battle._

 

_How are the mighty fallen, and the weapons of war perished._

 

_What is this crime, to love, that the world should hate us so dearly?_

 

_What is this crime, that we should be sent out like sheep amongst wolves?_

 

_Cunning as serpents_

 

_Gentle as doves_

 

_They sacrificed you, my innocent dove, tearing you to shreds like the wolves they are_

 

_And now I shall be crucified like a serpent of brass, so that the people may look upon me and live_

 

_How are the mighty fallen_

 

_All for a precious moment of joy_

 

_…_

 

_It wasn’t real_

 

_…_

 

_Nothing is real._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~I blame fucking _1984_ and its entire third act.~~
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading! I know these journal entries have been pretty dark so far, but ~~what were you expecting~~ the next one takes place during the early chapters of Hatred, so you know what that means...
> 
> DIANA. _DIANA._ **_DIANA._ ******


	4. Somebody Else's Song

 

* * *

 After her mysterious break-out from prison, Dr. Maru sought refuge in the Netherlands, where she stayed in relative seclusion until the Leipzig War Crimes Trials had taken place. When it became clear that no countries were officially out for her arrest, she began to make her way south, intending to reach Spain before winter. Her journey was delayed multiple times as she was forced to work and steal provisions in order to survive the trip. By the first snowfall, she had just reached the southern border of Germany, severely malnourished and shunned by a country still reeling from the aftermath of the war.

* * *

 _**  
January 1922** _  
**_Germany_ **

_You again._

_…_

_There are two of them. Dark, solemn ancients._

_.._

_Families crossed continents in covered wagons faster than this cursed journey from Hell to Hades has dared to take._

_.._

_Yet again you snatch me from the jaws of death, from the mouths of the three-headed devil in the center of the Inferno. Won’t you let them chew, woman, just once?_

_…_

_She is beautiful._

_Beautiful and gracious and warm and attentive._

_He keeps his distance. This was not his idea, sheltering and nursing a war criminal._

_He returns at sunset, and they speak together, then she is gone._

_Gone to greet the cold darkness of the night._

_He sits up in the outer room, humming, rocking, whittling, preparing, keeping watch._

_Once, there was a cry in a distance, and he took wing, strange gods that these creatures are, and when he returned, the night was quiet._

_She is restless during the day, sitting often at the bedside, stirring the fire, taking all nursely duties upon herself._

_Not since prison have I experienced such raw humiliation._

_..._

_I used to dream of killing you. Of finding you, and killing you. What a feat it would be, to kill such a magnificent creature._

_I would choke the breath from your lungs, throttle you until your eyes bulged, leave you sprawling in the dirt like those bodies scattered across Veld._

_You make me angry._

_You make me so angry, Diana._

_Because I know._

_I know I would kill anyone who lifted a finger against you._

_I know I couldn’t hurt you if I tried._

_I know I’m helpless to you._

_Not because you are strong, and I am weak. Or because you are good- you are everything that is good that this world doesn’t deserve- and I am everything that is not good. Not because you would be upon me before the thought even crossed my mind, your armor gleaming, your eyes burning._

_It’s because I can’t._

_I can’t._

_I can’t._

_..._

_I wish I could explain to you how much I hate you. I wish I could make you understand what you have done. You have undone me. You have undone everything and left me a thing that must beg for her life, beg for mercy. You gave me life when I would have chosen death, and you have stolen from me that which I would have given everything to keep, and given me that which I easily would have discarded. I did not ask you to spare my life, I did not ask you to save it. I did not ask you to find me._

_But you did._

_And you gave me no choice but to need you. To crave you. To desire you. To dream of you. You do not understand what you do to me. You have consumed me, and all that is left are these tattered fragments of my soul, this weary forlorn throbbing in my mind, and a broken, ruined body that is helpless to you. You. YOU. Oh, Diana, you do not know what you do to me. You do not know how much I hate you, how much I need you. I cannot. I cannot. Please. Let me go, Princesa. Let me live, without this aching for you. Let me live without this frustration that can only be sated by you. If I must live, let me live without this torment. You are tormenting me, Diana. And I know you don’t intend it so. And I know I deserve it. But God, I hate you for it. Let me live free of your maddening presence, or let me die in peace. I cannot. I cannot._

 

_I’m sorry._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Finally, some good fucking WonderPoison.~~
> 
> Also, Isabel you complete, useless fool...
> 
> ANYWAY, thanks for reading! I'm having so much fun writing these and I hope you're enjoying them, too! The next letter will be after Isabel arrives in Spain, and the "you literally ran away from your soulmate without a proper goodbye who DOES that???" angst is Real. ;)


	5. Trying

**1922-1923**

**Madrid, Spain**

_ I found Pedro, and for a moment, I believed in humanity._

_I berated him for never contacting me, and he cried like the baby he once was. He is happy with Carmen, and she is kind, understanding. They met when he was still poor, and she is unchanged by his success—a gracious, fearless woman, a woman worthy to be his wife. She reminds me of you—but so does everything in my life these days. Her eyes sparkle. She is a soft woman, and you are not—you are beautiful, and you are abrasive, and you are dangerous, and you are wild, and you are everything women in my world are not allowed to be, and you are everything this world is not, and yet I see you, hints of you, whispers of you, like a fleeting breath—momentary satisfaction, momentary life—and then it is gone. _

_ Carmen smiled at me, and all I saw was you—you, an ageless, immortal goddess in the face of a world-weary Spaniard who is five months pregnant, and it was then that I realized how truly desperate I have become. I do not regret leaving you. You knew that I would. That I could never _—_ what, remain in your capture, in your possession for the rest of my pitiful life? That cannot be, not for me, and not for you. But I find myself in need of accepting that I have lost… I have lost, once more, that which I would have given my life to keep, to have and to hold. _

_ Oh, Diana, why did you not simply kill me when we first met, why did you not let me die in the bitter cold, why does it pain you so to grant me mercy? I have done many things in my life deserving of torment, but I dare you to point to me any act that renders me deserving of this insatiable hunger for you. I cannot... I cannot. Please, Princesa. Let me go. Allow me to let you go. _

 

* * *

 

_ In the velvet calm of the night. _

_ That is where you will find me. In the darkness that does not terrorize, but comforts, embraces, smolders. I write this letter to you from the velvet calm of the night, when the world is quiet, and peaceful at last. I write this letter to you from the silence of the moment, because in this very sliver in time, life is beautiful, and I dream of you: You and the life you wanted us to have; you, and the person you wanted me to be. And here, in the lingering dark between the setting sun and the rising moon, life does not seem as hateful as it once did. _

 

* * *

 

_ Such dreams are foolish. _

_ She is days, perhaps months of travel away from Madrid, and I am the one who put this yawning space between us. _

_ Even after everything. _

_ Everything. _

 

* * *

 

_ I can hear your voice. I can feel you, in the dark. I can taste you. And I… I breathe. I breathe. And you fill me, as if you were life itself, as if you were necessary for life, to live. I see you in the dark. It is not so simple now, it never was. But I see you, and I dream. I see you, and I breathe; I see you, and I live. _

_ Please... please, just for a night. Just for a night, put everything aside: everything I am, everything I have been, and love me. There will be time enough for terror, for hate. There will be time enough for destruction and ruin and suffering and death and all of these things that mankind brought forth into this world. But let the world wait a little, Princesa._

_ Let the world wait. _

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~Today was a long day and I spent my evening watching the stage version of Sweeney Todd in an attempt to burn away the remnants of a book that shall not be named okay that's why there's no blurb read Hatred and Dust to Dust if you forgot what happened~~
> 
> Thanks for reading!! The next letter will take right before Diana arrives in Spain to find Isabel making chemical weapons again...


End file.
